Parent Tips
Parents who are concerned about their children running away may be interested in
a recent profile of runaways issued by the Florida Network of Youth & Family
Services Statistics kept on more than 18,000 children served by the Florida
Network last year reveals that children who run away are:
- twice as likely to be females as males
- highly likely to be affected by family tension
- likely to be 15 years old or younger
- likely to be using tobacco, alcohol and drugs
- likely to have academic and attendance problems at school
- likely to be associating with friends with delinquency records
If children have these characteristics or behaviors, parents may want to consider
getting help that is funded through the Department of Juvenile Justice and
available through the Florida Network of Youth & Family Services. In the
meantime, the following answers to frequent questions of parents with teens may prove helpful.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO KEEP MY CHILD FROM RUNNING AWAY? Although there's no foolproof way to ensure it won't happen, developing
strong communication habits early on can go a long way toward solidifying your bond and nurturing trust. Here are some tips for making that happen:
Pay attention. Your child can tell whether you're just pretending to listen or you're really paying attention. Take the time to listen closely and respond.
Show respect. Acknowledge and support the struggle to maturity that takes place in the pre-teen and teen years. Let your child know that any questions will be respected and answered honestly.
Seek to understand your child. Try to look at life through your child's point of view and think about what you experienced at that age. Our services are free, confidential, and available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call today: National Switchboard at 800-621-4000. We can help!
Don't lecture. Be clear and concise when you talk. Offer constructive feedback instead of lecturing or pointing out fault.
Discuss feelings. Talk about what it feels like to be a parent. When parents are open and honest about their feelings, kids know it's safe to share their own.
Create responsibility. Give teens choices instead of orders and help them understand that actions carry consequences.
Administer praise. Be specific when you praise good behavior and explain how each person's positive behavior affects others.
Don't always give the answers. Play "what if" to help develop problemsolving skills.
Use team work. Work together to discuss problems and explore mutually acceptable solutions.
Get to know those who are close to your child. Establish a relationship with your child's friends. Talk with them, and get to know their parents, too. It will help you understand your child better now, and it will build rapport for future communication.
Talk with your teenagers about the National Runaway Switchboard- Give them our number. Assure them that you would never encourage them to leave home, but that you want them to know where they can find help if they-or any of their friends-are ever faced with that situation.
ARE THERE ANY WARNING SIGNS I CAN WATCH FOR? It's often difficult to distinguish normal teen behavior from a serious problem. There's no formula for determining who will run and who will not. Though none of these is a definite indication that your child will run away, here are some signs that might indicate your child is thinking about it:
Changes in behavior: Sudden and dramatic changes in your child's usual behavior and patterns can be warning signs. Some examples: your teen
suddenly refuses to eat or frequently overeats, doesn't sleep well or sleeps
excessively, spends a majority of time alone or is constantly away from home
with friends. These sudden extremes or mood swings can mean your teen is
unsettled or restless and not coping well with stress.
Rebellion: Dropping grades, truancy, breaking rules at home or picking fights
can all be signs of trouble.
Talking about running away: Has your child hinted at or threatened running
away? Sometimes family members will hear rumors through friends, school or
other parents that a child is thinking of leaving. Take these threats seriously
and address them. Our services are free, confidential, and available 24 hours a
day, 365 days a year. Call today: the National Switchboard at 800-621-4000.
We can help!
Accumulation of money or possessions: Has your teen started to withdraw
cash from the bank? Is there a backpack or a bag of clothes in the closet? To
survive, runaways need money and resources. These behaviors may indicate
that your child is preparing to make a quick escape. It is important to confront
your suspicions right away. Clearly and calmly let your child know that you are
concerned and offer to listen, talk it out, or help find someone else to talk with
him or her. Be supportive and discuss positive ways to deal with stress, and be
sure to let your teen know that you are committed to helping the family work
things out.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY CHILD RUNS AWAY? Hopefully, you'll never have to face the crisis that occurs when a child runs away from home. But if you discover that your child has run, here are some important steps you should take as soon as you realize what's happened:
Notify the police immediately and file a missing persons report. There is
no waiting period to file a report when your child is missing. Keep detailed
records of the investigation and stay in touch with the authorities.
Call the National Runaway Switchboard at 800-621-4000. We operate a 24-
hour, toll-free and confidential hotline and we can offer information and
referrals. You can use our message relay service to leave a confidential
message for your child, or you can call for support and help processing the
situation. Our services are free, confidential, and available 24 hours a day, 365
days a year. Call today. We can help. National hotline: 800-621-4000
Tell others your child is missing. Contact everyone who is close to your
child. Call friends, friends' parents, teachers, counselors, coaches, other
students, anyone who may know something about what's happened and
anyone who may hear from your child before you do. If you've left a message
with the National Runaway Switchboard, let your child's friends know. Ask them
to encourage your child to call for the message.
Contact the local media (newspapers, television and radio stations) and hang
posters in your area with your child's picture and information.
Check any records. Look for clues on your phone bill, in recent e-mail activity,
pager records, credit card activity, bus or airline dockets, bank statements and
employment records.
Visit your child's school. Ask the administration, security officers, teachers
and classmates for any information that might help locate your child.
Install caller ID and other tracing methods. If your child or someone who
has seen your child calls, you'll want to know where the call originated.
Ask for help. If you believe your child has been abducted, the National
Runaway Switchboard can refer you to national and local organizations that
can help.
Take care of yourself. This is a difficult time and you don't have to deal with it
alone. Turn to people you know and trust for support and remember that the
National Runaway Switchboard is available for you 24 hours a day.
Tips courtesy of the National Runaway Switchboard
This information is provided by the Florida Network of Youth and Family Services: http://www.floridanetwork.org
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